{"id":25,"date":"2008-11-24T15:41:53","date_gmt":"2008-11-24T22:41:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/?p=25"},"modified":"2008-11-24T21:41:31","modified_gmt":"2008-11-25T04:41:31","slug":"this-is-a-courtesy-call","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/?p=25","title":{"rendered":"“This is a courtesy call…”"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Issue at Hand<\/strong><\/p>\n

First of all, my apologies for neglecting this blog over the past few months.\u00c2\u00a0 But there’s nothing like a “courtesy call” recorded eons ago and played back as soon as some schmuck (namely, me) answers the phone at 6:30pm on a weeknight to help me remember that I have a wonderful medium through which my frustration can be channeled.\u00c2\u00a0 Blagging seems to relieve stress.\u00c2\u00a0 I am already feeling better knowing that I am about to download all of my thoughts from my brain to the world at large.\u00c2\u00a0 Picture one of those bank drive-through cylinders.\u00c2\u00a0 Thoughts tucked safely inside?\u00c2\u00a0 Check.\u00c2\u00a0 Cylinder securely fastened shut?\u00c2\u00a0 Check.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m pushing the button so that my thoughts will be sucked up and fly out to the masses via these tangled up tubes Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) loves so well.<\/p>\n

<\/param><\/param><\/param><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

Me:\u00c2\u00a0 “Hello?”<\/p>\n

Phone:\u00c2\u00a0 “…static scratchiness…more static scratchiness…<\/em>”<\/p>\n

Me:\u00c2\u00a0 (thinking to myself…) I-should-hang-up-but-I’m-curious-but-I-hate-that-I-am-curious-because-I-know-from-the-pause-that-it’s-going-to-be-a…<\/p>\n

Phone:\u00c2\u00a0 “This is a courtesy call from PIC.\u00c2\u00a0 Unfortunately, you have just missed our customer service representative.\u00c2\u00a0 If you would like to speak with us, please call 8014841107.”\u00c2\u00a0 “…more static scratchiness…”<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:\u00c2\u00a0 Click.\u00c2\u00a0 “Damn it!”<\/p>\n

Sam:\u00c2\u00a0 (without looking up as he types away on his computer…) “What’s wrong?”<\/p>\n

Me:\u00c2\u00a0 “….telemarketers!<\/em>”<\/p>\n

Sam:\u00c2\u00a0 (continues typing…) “Ah.”<\/p>\n

The Problem<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, if that doesn’t make me feel worse, what could?\u00c2\u00a0 Like it’s no big deal.\u00c2\u00a0 But it also makes me mad because I know he’s right.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s really not a huge deal.\u00c2\u00a0 There are more important things to be upset about–I had just seen a Save the Children commercial so I knew it was true–and yet the selfish, time-miser American streak in me can’t get past this call.\u00c2\u00a0 Why not?\u00c2\u00a0 Why am I so peeved?\u00c2\u00a0 Thanks to the intertubes, I can tell you all why.<\/p>\n

1.\u00c2\u00a0 Answering the phone only to hear a recording is a HUGE annoyance.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s rude.\u00c2\u00a0 As if the caller’s time is so valuable that they cannot be bothered to SPEAK when the someone at the number THEY DIALED picks up the phone and says, innocently (and almost benevolently, I might add), “Hello?”<\/p>\n

I even included that hopeful rise in my voice at the end of the word, as though I was expecting a positively magical outcome to my greeting.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead, I met only with static indifference followed by a recording.\u00c2\u00a0 If you’re going to cold-call people, at least have the decency to put a LIVE PERSON on the other end of the line.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s as if my time is as insignificant as Rosie O’Donnell’s new variety show.\u00c2\u00a0 Ouch.<\/p>\n

Well…on the other hand, perhaps my time is that insignificant.\u00c2\u00a0 They wasted all of what…20 seconds?\u00c2\u00a0 Perhaps I am being unreasonable.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I am the one wasting more of my time blathering on this blag.\u00c2\u00a0 I can just hear that recorded voice asking me in its infuriatingly monotone calmness, “Who has the last laugh now?” \u00c2\u00a0 Still, I’m an inquiring mind, and you know what that means.<\/p>\n

2.\u00c2\u00a0 Curiosity killed the cat.\u00c2\u00a0 May I not meet the same ill fate as the fabled feline who inspired that saying, because I want to know what PIC is and why it is calling me.\u00c2\u00a0 I think I want to know this because it didn’t tell me.\u00c2\u00a0 What is it hiding?\u00c2\u00a0 (I will not use pronouns such as “they” or “them” to describe PIC because it contacted me via a recorded voice, like KITT on Knight Rider<\/em><\/a>, which, however ardently we wish otherwise, is not a person, but rather a genius computer “it” with bitchin’ A.I. and an attitude problem.\u00c2\u00a0 Moving on…)<\/p>\n

We do not have caller ID, so I decided to employ my handy-dandy librarian skills.\u00c2\u00a0 Thank you, www.whocalled.us<\/a>.\u00c2\u00a0 Turns out PIC is an acronym.\u00c2\u00a0 I wasn’t sure at first because the recorded voice didn’t spell it out, so it sounded like the word “pick,” as in “ice pick” (with which I would love to destroy the obsolete voice recorder used to tape that uninformative message) or “pick its nose” (which PIC can do, along with kissing my…well, you get the picture).\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The culprit is none other than Public Interest Communications<\/a>, a telemarketing firm based in Salt Lake City that serves non profit and tax exempt organizations.\u00c2\u00a0 That information also answered another question that was forming in my mind…<\/p>\n

3.\u00c2\u00a0 No wonder the DNC List<\/a> (which we are on) does not apply to it!\u00c2\u00a0 Oh well.\u00c2\u00a0 At least I know how to stick it to PIC.\u00c2\u00a0 I will just boycott all of the organizations that deign to do business with it.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s just one problem…<\/p>\n

4.\u00c2\u00a0 PIC represents the likes of Amnesty International, the World Wildlife Fund, and the Rails-to-Trails Conservancy among others.\u00c2\u00a0 Damn it again!\u00c2\u00a0 I was all ready to forever withhold my support from every one of the stupid, ridiculous organizations who would hire morons like PIC to fundraise for them…until I found out that I agree with and believe in the missions\/visions of several nonprofits on PIC’s list of clients<\/a>.\u00c2\u00a0 This new discovery complicated things entirely too much.\u00c2\u00a0 Did one of these once-trusted organizations share my contact information with PIC?<\/p>\n

5.\u00c2\u00a0 I did some further research to find out, and I think it’s doubtful.\u00c2\u00a0 PIC offers very specific fundraising services based on donor lists, etc.\u00c2\u00a0 Here I want to clarify:\u00c2\u00a0 it doesn’t bother me when I receive calls directly from nonprofits I have given to in the past.\u00c2\u00a0 I like to talk to staff members and find out what’s new, and if memory serves they have never asked for more money over the phone…emails and mass mailings take care of that task.\u00c2\u00a0 But I would not like receiving a call asking me to donate more money to a nonprofit I’ve supported in the past from someone who does not even work there.<\/p>\n

Why not?\u00c2\u00a0 First, because I don’t think it’s ethical for nonprofits to share donor lists with PIC no matter what assurance PIC gives as to privacy standards, etc.\u00c2\u00a0 Who says it would not sell the list in the future, and how would anyone be the wiser if it did?\u00c2\u00a0 Second, because if I have any questions about that nonprofit’s programs and services, a telemarketer can’t answer them!\u00c2\u00a0 What a waste of time–again!\u00c2\u00a0 And third, because most of my money would not be going to that nonprofit–it would be going to PIC.\u00c2\u00a0 I will make a direct donation online or by mail before I will ever respond to a phone solicitation.\u00c2\u00a0 For these reasons, I will have to rethink any financial support that goes to PIC’s clientele because I feel that they are unwisely using some or all of their donor funds by hiring PIC.\u00c2\u00a0 Period.<\/p>\n

I have a hunch that in addition to these specific, more personalized donor call list services, PIC also sends out mass recorded calls to loads of people with listed phone numbers across the country just to see if they can get someone to call them back and donate money to any one of their clients.\u00c2\u00a0 My recorded call was so general that I am convinced it was a shot in the dark, and through online forums I have found that many others have been unwilling targets of PIC’s general telemarketing recording.\u00c2\u00a0 I, of course, took the bait.\u00c2\u00a0 I gave them a website hit, and I called the number back and asked them to remove me from their solicitation list (which, to my knowledge, they have done).\u00c2\u00a0 I have not received any calls since Wednesday of last week.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m going to think positive.\u00c2\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

A Solution for When You Really Have to Go<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to sell you DetrolLA or Vesicare.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m going to share one idea for what you can do when you are targeted by telemarketers and you really have to get off the phone.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s easy enough to simply hang up on telemarketers, but somehow I find that I have to be polite.\u00c2\u00a0 I say things like, “I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested…” but that never seems to help.\u00c2\u00a0 Usually, they continue speaking at you rather than to you.\u00c2\u00a0 Typically, they barely stop for breath because any pause on their part might give the person on the other end of the line a chance to say no, hang up, or tell them off.\u00c2\u00a0 Inevitably, it takes about four to six polite refusals before they will give up.\u00c2\u00a0 And these days, saying, “We are on the Do Not Call List, so…” shuts them up fairly quickly.\u00c2\u00a0 But because nonprofits are exempt from this list, PIC and companies like it will continue to call us on behalf of organizations like the Indiana Troopers Association (by the way, for the ITA specifically, hired telemarketers typically get the majority–as in around 80%–of the hard-earned moolah you donate as a result of their phone calls).\u00c2\u00a0 And for those of you out there who, like me, find it difficult to deal with these calls, I have found a solution for us all.<\/p>\n

Going, Going, Gone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you visit sorrygottago.com<\/a>, you will find lots of great recordings that you can use on telemarketers while they are trying to give you the big, long, breathless product pitch they are being paid to read to anyone who will listen.\u00c2\u00a0 Convincing them to give up is difficult, but what if your cockatoo<\/a> was going crazy, you were about to board a helicopter<\/a>, your carriage<\/a> just arrived, you just walked into a huge surprise party<\/a> thrown in your honor, you are busy rolling strikes at your bowling<\/a> league, you were in the middle of escaping from a fire<\/a> in your building, or your home became the new HQ of the National Bubblewrap Corporation<\/a>?<\/p>\n

I didn’t listen to every recording on sorrygottago.com, but from what I can tell none of the options are obscene or inappropriate.\u00c2\u00a0 Still, when I think of telemarketers as human beings (and they are, after all, just trying to make a living), I would have to rule out some of the “gotta go” methods on this website.\u00c2\u00a0 Most recordings are fine (a herd of cows<\/a> invading your home is anything but rude), but a few (the I’m listening<\/a> choice comes to mind) are just mean.\u00c2\u00a0 Depending on which methods you choose, you might be able to hang up on your telemarketers without hurting their feelings and without feeling guilty.\u00c2\u00a0 And if they have been SGG’d before, you might even convince them to hang up on you!\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Either way, you’re golden.<\/p>\n

Now, I’m sorry, but I gotta go…my\u00c2\u00a0favorite show<\/a> is on!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Issue at Hand First of all, my apologies for neglecting this blog over the past few months.\u00c2\u00a0 But there’s nothing like a “courtesy call” recorded eons ago and played back as soon as some schmuck (namely, me) answers the phone at 6:30pm on a weeknight to help me remember that I have a wonderful […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"bgseo_title":"","bgseo_description":"","bgseo_robots_index":"","bgseo_robots_follow":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[34,33],"class_list":["post-25","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc","tag-pic","tag-telemarketing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions\/33"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blag.samandshannon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}